KMHM’s 1 year anniversary (and Hwang Jungeum’s marriage)

It’s hard not pass this day by without mentioning KMHM seeing as it was a year ago that what has now grown to be one of the most iconic lines on TV was aired (at 10pm!)
“Remember, January 7th, 10pm, the time I fell for you”
Oh Shin Segi! When will I ever get over you? Another reason this merits discussion (besides KMHM being forever close to my heart) is that the lovely Hwang Jungeum is getting married!
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Ji Sung (FINALLY) wins an award for Kill Me Heal Me

Here’s a link to the wonderful ockoala’s website where she covers how meritorious this award is:


AND I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY, PEOPLE! He deserves EVERY BIT of the applause, praise and love he has received and I could not be happier that he’s being given physical proof of that. Not that Ji Sung needs the awards, but it’s always nice to have your worked recognized that way, and let’s face it, there’s no one this year who did as much emotional heavylifting and owned the scene with such sheer magnetism and gravitas as he did. KMHM would not have been what it was without him.

Those who follow my posts know that I still have a hard time letting go of that show (AND SHIN SEGI, I AM NOT OKAY) which was undoubtedly the best drama of the year for me. So hooray for Ji Sung! Let this be the first of many more plaudits to come!

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Shin Segi and Cha Dohyun sit down for an interview with Elle

This came out a few months ago while I was basking in my newly found freedom after a rather annoying year of university. What with another drama unexpectedly stealing my heart (this makes 4 in the last year!) I scoured the web for all things Seo Inguk, Jang Nara (just finished marathoning Fated to Love You), Park Bogum – and once I was done there – Jisung.
I revisited this video and couldn’t help but marvel once more at how much the interview felt like a calmer Shin Segi and Dohyun simply chatting amongst themselves, which was definitely what Elle was going for. Smart of them. Jisung’s given two words per question and asked to pick the one he identifies/likes the most for each. Both the left and right sides of him answer at different times and often interrupt/disagree with the other’s choice. Those comments/actions will be bolded in my translation below. Simple though the style of questioning may be, the words used as surprisingly complex ranging from “result vs process?” to the more socially relevant “safety vs liberty” and his answers don’t disappointed, delivered in his mild-mannered yet playful air that serves to remind me all over again as to why I’m a fan.
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Ji Sung at the 51st Baeksang awards (and why he was robbed)

So the 51st Baeksang Awards ceremony took place today. I can’t speak for the movie categories seeing as I’m more of a drama person but seriously, Ji Sung was robbed. As much as I like Lee Sungmin that Best Actor award had Ji Sung’s name etched on it. And yet, he lost out. I wonder why fair award shows are such a rarity regardless of what country you look at.

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Kill Me Heal Me (and why it still doesn’t feel over)

The fact that I didn’t post something like this after Liar Game says loads about how much more I love Kill Me Heal Me. Liar Game had a tightly-written, brilliantly paced plot with nary a hole in sight. Kill Me Heal Me had several flaws that I can name off the top of my head, but those can be made allowance for considering how plagued the production was with setbacks, from last-minute casting to Ji Sung’s poor vocal cords dying. I love both shows dearly but Kill Me Heal Me will likely remain eternally more dear for several reasons. Firstly, it had a level of heart that I’ve never seen before (in American shows or movies or other Kdramas). Ji Sung and Hwang Jungeum’s ease with each other and incredibly acting skills resulted in a love so deep and glorious, it was awe-inspiring to watch them on screen. Secondly, KMHM is over. There’s no doubt about it, no hope for a second season to keep me warm at night like with Liar Game . Therefore every morsel becomes incredibly dear, and letting go is all the harder. My third reason can be summed up in three syllables: Shin Segi.


Thetalkingcupboard has a wonderful comic on just how things were for Segi

(She’s also compiled an AMAZING list of parody videos made by fans! Rijin x Perry anyone?)

Reading it makes things all the worse, and reopens every single wound in my heart at his departure. Segi was written as a part of Dohyun’s broken psyche, the largest fragment of all his personalities but a fragment nevertheless. Yet, throughout the show, he has never felt more real. He was far more nuanced, more strong, and much more angry than the other personalities. Rather than a fragment of Dohyun, Dohyun has often felt like a fragment of him, especially during the earlier episodes. Looking at it from a logical point of view, Segi isn’t the main personality, and therefore never had a chance. But he’s always been the most vibrant, and the most broken person in the show. As such, seeing him vanish just like that is incredibly painful, especially since we’ve seen how much he wanted to live, and just how much he loved Rijin, time and time again.
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He always felt like a full-fledged person, not that the other personalities weren’t, but he was just so real. Perhaps the fault lies with Ji Sung for bringing Segi to life so perfectly, such that one could easily say that three men loved Rijin: Ri On, Segi and Dohyun. That’s why this goodbye remains the most painful, heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard before.  Even the idea that he’s living inside as a part of Dohyun isn’t enough consolation at times. Because Shin Segi was meant to walk the night and drive like a madman. And so my head cannot stop relieving the moment he leaves, with Ji Sung’s lovely OST echoing in my ears, saying it’s not fair, it’s not fair that he had to leave.


To me, just like Rijin and Dohyun, Segi needed to be healed as well. But then I think about it logically and realize that Segi and Dohyun are one and the same so healing one is the same as healing the other. I wanted both men to stay with her forever, for Segi to heal at Rijin’s side, so that she’d have the Beast and the Prince. No one would love her more. But with the root of Dohyun’s DID addressed, there was no longer any reason for him to continue to have DID. Writer Jin Soowan made the right choice here in sending Segi off, but some part of me cannot do the same, and so I remain unable to send off KMHM. Oh Ji Sung, the fault lies with you for making him and this show so perfect. In the spirit of finally letting him go, I make this post. Dear, dear Segi, or Dohyun rather, live long and happily inside Dohyun, as an irreversible part of Dohyun. He’s already started talking like you
(That is definitely the way Segi looks at her)
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His gaze is now eerily similar to your own


he dresses like you


who knows what else might come through? Perhaps even a wink

And Rijin loves you just as much as she does him.

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Rijin wasn’t rejecting you. She was healing you, fitting you back into the puzzle you belong to, so that neither you nor Dohyun need to live incomplete lives anymore. The Beast is the Prince, she knew that from the start, she’s just making sure you know it as well.


So don’t worry ’cause Dohyun’s going to be growling the way you do, switching to banmal the way you do, disregarding social norms to live life freely the way you did. You’re out of the basement now. Be happy with the woman you love, who loves you back just as dearly.

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Yup, she’ll play with you forever. Just as she did when you and Dohyun weren’t one

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So remember it, the night of March 12, 2015. The night you gained everything you ever wanted.

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Be happy you two.

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PS: All the cast interviews, the intial press conference and the wrap-up party BTS have been added to the complete Kill Me Heal Me torrent, so I recommend any who hasn’t seen either to watch it! I can help with torrenting if you need me to! 🙂 Plus there’s an absolutely beautiful epilogue written by Mau_Cherry on the KMHM soompi thread and I really, really recommend checking it out, since she remains absolutely true to the story and its wonderful characters. Here’s the link!:

It’s the 17th post on that page (I think) and in is blue lettering. Enjoy!


Kill Me Heal Me Finale Ep 20 Review (and Shin Segi the Magnificent’s last stand)

Okay, my shirt is soaked with tears. I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest, my eyes feel raw. I feel raw, numb, dazed. This is going to be some withdrawal.

Let’s start with an overview of how far we’ve come before we get to the nitty gritties. Kill Me Heal Me, was a production that by all rights should have been a failure. Tossed and turned between actors and actresses, it was a surprise when an established pair suddenly clinched the lead roles. And one for which I’m profoundly, unbelievably grateful. Not only did Ji Sung and Hwang Jungeum rise above and beyond to make this show a success, they did it with such incredibly heart and passion that it’ll be a while before I forget this (if ever). Kill Me Heal Me started off as a comedy of sorts, with a rather violent first two episodes, some pretty fun engrish and much flitting between genres. I liked it from the start, Ji Sung’s “I will come back…and break every single piece of your bone” had me gasping for air from how sexy that drawl was. I knew I’d be coming back for more. I just didn’t expect it to be this good. The show’s tone began to change slightly as we wore into episodes 4-7, pain, self-hatred, fear, concern, family politics set a rather serious tone, broken only by the alters; appearances and the trouble they caused. Episode 8 was where this took a turn towards the light and happy, with Rijin becoming Dohyun’s physician and Yona running around wreaking havoc and surprise kisses (*squeal*) and bouts of chasing after each other (literally and figuratively) and trying to tame Segi. Throughout it was an undercurrent of tension, a frission of conflict, regarding Dohyun’s past and just who the child in the basement was. Episode 14 was yet another turning point upon which all major secrets were revealed and Dohyun and Rijin broke down in agony. Pain, sacrifice, love and sorrow wrung hearts throughout episodes 15-17 until Segi reappeared and stretched out his hand, after which all the alters took turns in ensuring that Dohyun’s happiness was safeguarded. Episode19 was where ends began to tie up. And Episode 20 was where it was all wrapped up with a bow on top.


I truthfully don’t know whether I can bear to watch this drama again until after a while has passed. This episode was painful, to say the least, as we said goodbye to all the alters, including out very recent Mr. X, in a process that showed just how they might have been formed in the first place.

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Kill Me Heal Me Ep 19 Review (and bon voyage Perry Park! You will be missed!)

As usual, I’m left with the question of just where to begin. Besides reiterating just how much I love this show, the actors and characters that is. It’s official. Liar Game, you’ve been supplanted, utterly and completely owned by the tour de force that is Kill Me Heal Me. Forgive me Ha Woo Jin.

I could go on on a bit further on how I never thought I’d ever meet another drama, especially not this soon, that would EVER beat out Liar Game but there you go. I’ve never been this lost, this madly in love with a show, weeping in full force during the moments of incredible emotion and depth, laughing out loud during the hilarious parts and left with this sense of joy and effervescent hope, once I was done.

Thank you, show. Thank you. I can’t believe tomorrow is good-bye. But let’s focus on today.

I’m just really happy with the way this episode progressed, focusing on the only three people I care about. Dohyun, Rijin and Ri On. These aren’t characters to me but real people. I have never felt such…I really don’t know how to say it. It’s like reading a book and watching the character jump from the pages into your startled arms. Never have I seen such good portrayals of good, even if a little whacked (I’m looking at you Yona) human beings. (Why must we say goodbye?)

I’m ridiculously glad at how well Dohyun’s stepping up to the occasion and moving forward. It may seem as though the conflicts are being resolved too easily (the thing with Alex for one), but as I said about a week ago, the only hurdle that really mattered was the abuse, pain and guilt these two had to overcome. Everything else, be it shareholder meetings, or Chaeyeon, or Ki Joon or Alex, is an afterthought. Seeing that Dohyun’s been taking the wind out of Alex’s ‘bombshell’ as well, I’m glad that things ended up the way they did. What Dohyun said to Alex was a long time coming and demonstrates just how far he’s grown. He still shoulders much of the guilt and blame (though he really shouldn’t in this case, Alex made his own bed) but that’s one of his best and worst character traits, his sense of responsibility, his way of narrowing everything down such that it’s all his fault (remember when Rijin wanted to eat her mother’s duck stew in ep 13?). It makes him a lot more aware of others’ pains and problems, and a hell of a lot more empathetic and understanding. Seems to me that him and Rijin aren’t so different in that respect.

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Nevertheless, Ki Joon still knows about Dohyun’s DID, but I still don’t think it’s going to be a big deal. They won’t shove company politics down our throat in one episode. Dohyun’s title as Vice-president was only ever one of the many things that got tossed his way because he was Seungjin’s heir. He never wanted anything to do with it, and can survive just fine without it. It’s not a central aspect of his life at all (unlike Ji Sung’s previous role as Minhyuk in Secret, who couldn’t imagine not having the company, or Yoojung!).

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(I’d like to see him in a drama soon. We didn’t get to see too much of him this time, but I have a feeling that he could be a great male lead)

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Major, major props to the writer for handling the Chaeyeon arc so well. I do feel for Chaeyeon in some sense. Dohyun did treat her like a princess, and after all Ki Joon’s screeching and shoving, the contrast must have felt like paradise. Girl, just wants someone who loves her, I really can’t blame her for that. But she’s got to stop when he’s pushing her away, and I’m glad that arc was ended definitely today. It was quite, quite brave of Dohyun to take two large steps in one day, and I’m really glad that his resolve didn’t waver. He went straight for it. And we all saw how she reacted. I don’t think it was entirely disgust on her part, but more like the last flaming bit of hope within her was snuffed out as she realized that even when he did come to find her, it wasn’t because of anything he felt for her. Whatever he felt is well and truly dead, and she doesn’t want to deal with a man who’ll change on her so quickly. I like how the reaction is human, and doesn’t paint her as some psycho second female lead. Props again, to you writer-nim!

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Dohyun may be plowing through with as much resolve as possible, but he’s far from impervious to pain. His reaction after Chaeyeon’s departure (oh Ji Sung, must you be so perfect?)was one of such quiet acceptance in the face of yet another rejection (because it’s definitely a rejection of both him as a romantic interest, but also as a person) that I just wanted to rush over and give him a hug. Luckily there’s someone who’ll be doing that for him from now on. Continue reading